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Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Anyone for Sheep?

I will be picking up my sheep any day now. Albeit it will be in a few pieces. Sixty-five or so pounds of sheep. Flash frozen I suspect. I was talking with Mrs. Pyper, the egg lady I wrote about earlier this summer, about aquiring a small farm animal to stuff into my basement freezer. [The cow will only be available in late October.] She recommended I go to the one-legged Farmer Miller down the road. Intrigued by a one-legged sheep farmer (who farms just down the road) I had to pay him a visit.

Although he said he does not sell to individuals (only super markets) he made an exception in my case. Lucky me. Leaving Mr & Mrs. Pyper's home with two-dozen fresh eggs, I drove up the mandatory long country dirt driveway in search of Farmer Miller. I eventually found him chainsawing firewood out back. After a brief introduction and small talk of chainsaws we walked over to his backyard porch and sat down for a break. I politely discussed the politics of meat, and about his sheep operation and I asked about how I would like the sheep prepared.

As I have never bought a farm animal before, I was hesitant about how "the process" went. I sort of made some awkward wavy motions with my hands to describe how big the roasts should be. Will I get a male or female? I had no idea what I was talking about. Three to four pounds each I requested. Each of what I thought to myself? Just cut 'em up into pieces (again with the waving) I can BBQ, I further hastily added. He must have thought--what a city boy. I just hope he does not slip any brains or other 'tasty' organs into the deal...I don't think I can sell this to Jules. Anyway, if you come over for dinner one day, don't be surprised if I offer some sheep (or lamb--that sounds better) for dinner. All I need now is to get some recipes. Come to think of it, maybe I should have had the sheep over to graze on my lawn first. Too late now, I guess.

If Bubba from Forrest Gump were a sheep farmer he would probably say something like: "Anyway, like I was sayin', sheep is the fruit of the land. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey's uh, sheep-kabobs, sheep creole, sheep gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple sheep, lemon sheep, coconut sheep, pepper sheep, sheep soup, sheep stew, sheep salad, sheep and potatoes, sheep burger, sheep sandwich. That- that's about it."


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